escape

i supposed it's been a long time since the last entry. i was wondering what to write in this blog of mine, i already have a somewhat weekly journal in friendster. the things i've been writing about are mostly inspirations for things. it maybe weird, but that's me. i'm an enigma, and i hide too many secrets. let me carry my own burden. it is mine that i must bear. i don't wish for others to help. no sir.

i've been surfing a lot lately. in the day, i go to kaed and surf at the computer lab. at night the urge to spend my dad's hard-earned cash at the cybercafe was irresistable. but hey dad, i spend a lot on food too, so no worries there, it's being used for a good cause :).

writing a story is hard, i have found. it's harder when you are always tempted to stop. its even harder when you don't know what you are writing about. but it is the hard-earned efforts that pay much. just like the one i'm writing right now, the one called outerworld 1. it's my effort of rewriting final fantasy viii following my version. kept adding a few ideas here and there. a story is like an escape from that real life. people call it mundane, but life really isn't. i've got friends who are living exciting lives, and they don't complain. anyway, a story is an escape. it pulls you away to a refuge where you would be watching your characters do stuff you know they couldn't. it's like watching a movie, or playing video games, or surfing the internet.

don't it reads that i do like to escape from the real world? yes, i'm afraid i am. i am caging myself into my own world. i am afraid the escape i seek is actually trapping me instead... it is because of the burdens i carry? are they actually closing me away?

that's deep. i like it. i may make it a story one day :)