Another week has passed and here I am sitting in front of my laptop doing what I am not supposed to so - procrastinate. I declared on the wikis that I was going for a wikibreak, but truth be told, I lurked at the wikis and silently watched them as they go about their activities without me. I was jealous as them for being so active while I'm gone. Everytime I opened the recent changes I had the urge to log in and edit. I declared that I'll be gone for four months. My complex tells me that I should prove to them I'll be gone for four months. That I shouldn't log in and tell them that I'll just be gone for two, or a week. That this wikibreak is for real.
I didn't fool anybody. At wikipedia I declared that I was on a semi-retirement. I cleaned up my talk archived and even displayed semi-retired on my userpage. Just three weeks later I logged in saying I was only going for a wikibreak. Nobody was glad to see me back. Nobody said, "hey you're back with us, don't leave us again, please." Who did I fool? Myself. As you can see, I'm still active, even if it's one edit per day on average.
I'm on the verge on doing the same on the wikias. No, I tell myself, only after April, then you can edit all you want. I have to admit that it is very difficult, considering all those idiots rambling on irrelevant stuff - if I was admin I'd ban their asses for irrelevancy and nonsense. In another wikia, I am one of the six admins. In my absence, nothing was improving in the wiki, or so it seems to me. New users were not welcomed, it's a new month but no featured article is selected, there's not even a cleanup drive going. I'm so mad! Mad to myself for leaving when the wiki needs me! Mad at the admins for not being deserving of their posts.
But I'm also mad at myself for not doing what I am supposed to now. A project paper is due this March, and I'm still not over Chapter 2. Chapter 1 is half-baked even. I can't do it, I lose focus too easily. It's like that mental disorder, what they call Attention Deficit Disorder (they came up with a new term already). And it's true, these things don't interest me at all, probably that's why I am leaving them on the shelf to dust. Project paper, work, term paper, work, assignment, work. I am not cut out to be an academic. Then what will I be in the future? What will I grow up to become? What will my income source be? Oh my God, WHAT AM I DOING?
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Sunday, December 23, 2007
So I used my time to answer a survey...
1) Name of a person who made you laugh last night?
Saiful, my complete contrast brother.
2) What were you doing at 0800?
Sleeping. Imagine going to bed at 530am.
3) What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Playing Fatal Frame 3 for my brothers, who ended up sleeping and leaving me all alone.
4) What happened to you in 2006?
Grew up, made sins and virtues.
5) What was the last thing you said out loud?
"Okay, abang nak main ni!" to my brothers.
6) How many beverages did you have today?
One cup of Coke, despite me trying not to.
7) What colour is your hairbrush?
It would have been white, if I had one.
8) What was the last thing you paid for?
Three DVDs! Finally got the Invasion!
9) Where were you last night?
Home, typing away on my laptop.
10) What color is your front door?
Dark brown or maroon something.
11) Where do you keep your change?
My overstuffed wallet.
12) What's the weather like today?
Overcast, making me dreary and bored.
13) What's the best ice-cream flavour?
Must it be vanilla with strawberry? Yes it must!
14) What excites you?
Since its excites, just one thing, I say when I receive money.
15) Do you want to cut your hair?
Yes, when it gets in the way. It's not right now, so why bother?
16) Are you over the age of 25?
Not yet, and is happy of the fact.
17) Do you talk a lot?
No. Don't expect me to.
18) Do you watch the O. C.?
Should I watch something I don't know and don't bother?
19) Do you know anyone named Steven?
If I had lived in America, maybe I would.
20) Do you make up your own words?
Only when its necessary. I follow the existing vocabulary.
21) Are you a jealous person?
You won't call a person a person he/she doesn't have this.
22) Name a friend whose name starts with the letter 'A'.
Ashaari. You don't find a friend like him that often. I mean it.
23) Name a friend whose name starts with the letter 'K'.
Kugan, my crazy Indian friend. Could never get thru assigs without him.
24) Who's the first person on your received call list?
My mom la.
25) What does the last text message you received say?
"You're tagged! Check out my blog."
26) Do you chew on your straw?
Not when there's something else to chew.
27) Do you have curly hair?
Maybe you'd like to see it for yourself.
28) Where's the next place you're going to?
Probably the toilet.
29) Who's the rudest person in your life?
My father. You won't notice though. My brother takes it from him.
30) What was the last thing you ate?
My mom's cooking, which are all very scrumptious.
31) Will you get married in the future?
Maybe not.
32) What's the best movie you've seen in the past 2 weeks?
Stardust. The book was better, but still.
33) Is there anyone you like right now?
Yes
34) When was the last time you did the dishes?
Yesterday, after dinner.
35) Are you currently depressed?
No.
36) Did you cry today?
No.
37) Why did you answer and post this?
For people to read it. Namely me.
38) Tag 5 people who would do this survey.
You. You You You. You You. You You You You. You You You You You
Saiful, my complete contrast brother.
2) What were you doing at 0800?
Sleeping. Imagine going to bed at 530am.
3) What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Playing Fatal Frame 3 for my brothers, who ended up sleeping and leaving me all alone.
4) What happened to you in 2006?
Grew up, made sins and virtues.
5) What was the last thing you said out loud?
"Okay, abang nak main ni!" to my brothers.
6) How many beverages did you have today?
One cup of Coke, despite me trying not to.
7) What colour is your hairbrush?
It would have been white, if I had one.
8) What was the last thing you paid for?
Three DVDs! Finally got the Invasion!
9) Where were you last night?
Home, typing away on my laptop.
10) What color is your front door?
Dark brown or maroon something.
11) Where do you keep your change?
My overstuffed wallet.
12) What's the weather like today?
Overcast, making me dreary and bored.
13) What's the best ice-cream flavour?
Must it be vanilla with strawberry? Yes it must!
14) What excites you?
Since its excites, just one thing, I say when I receive money.
15) Do you want to cut your hair?
Yes, when it gets in the way. It's not right now, so why bother?
16) Are you over the age of 25?
Not yet, and is happy of the fact.
17) Do you talk a lot?
No. Don't expect me to.
18) Do you watch the O. C.?
Should I watch something I don't know and don't bother?
19) Do you know anyone named Steven?
If I had lived in America, maybe I would.
20) Do you make up your own words?
Only when its necessary. I follow the existing vocabulary.
21) Are you a jealous person?
You won't call a person a person he/she doesn't have this.
22) Name a friend whose name starts with the letter 'A'.
Ashaari. You don't find a friend like him that often. I mean it.
23) Name a friend whose name starts with the letter 'K'.
Kugan, my crazy Indian friend. Could never get thru assigs without him.
24) Who's the first person on your received call list?
My mom la.
25) What does the last text message you received say?
"You're tagged! Check out my blog."
26) Do you chew on your straw?
Not when there's something else to chew.
27) Do you have curly hair?
Maybe you'd like to see it for yourself.
28) Where's the next place you're going to?
Probably the toilet.
29) Who's the rudest person in your life?
My father. You won't notice though. My brother takes it from him.
30) What was the last thing you ate?
My mom's cooking, which are all very scrumptious.
31) Will you get married in the future?
Maybe not.
32) What's the best movie you've seen in the past 2 weeks?
Stardust. The book was better, but still.
33) Is there anyone you like right now?
Yes
34) When was the last time you did the dishes?
Yesterday, after dinner.
35) Are you currently depressed?
No.
36) Did you cry today?
No.
37) Why did you answer and post this?
For people to read it. Namely me.
38) Tag 5 people who would do this survey.
You. You You You. You You. You You You You. You You You You You
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Kiss and Cry
Delinquents, model students, teachers
Are all the same when they fall in love
Bass Drum that rings in my eardrum
Cymbal that beats nicely
B-section that seems to melt
Your smile is
A critical hit to my heart
It's become high-tension high-tension high-tension
Get closer to me
Don't hold back
Even if you get hurt a bit,
It's all right, KISS & CRY
I don't want to have a mindset of a victim
I'd rather make you look up to me and become an accomplice to crime
Dad's layoff,
Brother's internet,
Mom's on diet, diet, diet
Everyone's a pilot in the night sky
Moonlight that cures loneliness
Today's meal is Nissin Cup Noodle Cup Noodle Cup Noodle
Get closer to me
Don't hold back
Even if you get hurt a bit,
It's all right, KISS & CRY
DON'T WORRY BABY
If you think too much
Or always just wishing
Isn't that sad? KISS & CRY
I JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY
Just a bit, just a bit
I JUST WANT YOU TO HOLD ME
I'm a coward
At this rate, nothing will change
before my birthday next year
I JUST WANT YOU TO HOLD ME
I don't care if I get embarassed
Get hurt a little bit
Don't give up
Laugh it out and do it
There's nothing more you can do, KISS & CRY
Pluck up more courage
Show me more of your true power
Even if it doesn't end up the way you wanted it to
It's all right, KISS & CRY
Are all the same when they fall in love
Bass Drum that rings in my eardrum
Cymbal that beats nicely
B-section that seems to melt
Your smile is
A critical hit to my heart
It's become high-tension high-tension high-tension
Get closer to me
Don't hold back
Even if you get hurt a bit,
It's all right, KISS & CRY
I don't want to have a mindset of a victim
I'd rather make you look up to me and become an accomplice to crime
Dad's layoff,
Brother's internet,
Mom's on diet, diet, diet
Everyone's a pilot in the night sky
Moonlight that cures loneliness
Today's meal is Nissin Cup Noodle Cup Noodle Cup Noodle
Get closer to me
Don't hold back
Even if you get hurt a bit,
It's all right, KISS & CRY
DON'T WORRY BABY
If you think too much
Or always just wishing
Isn't that sad? KISS & CRY
I JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY
Just a bit, just a bit
I JUST WANT YOU TO HOLD ME
I'm a coward
At this rate, nothing will change
before my birthday next year
I JUST WANT YOU TO HOLD ME
I don't care if I get embarassed
Get hurt a little bit
Don't give up
Laugh it out and do it
There's nothing more you can do, KISS & CRY
Pluck up more courage
Show me more of your true power
Even if it doesn't end up the way you wanted it to
It's all right, KISS & CRY
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